I'm Not So Bad, Right?
by looselyhanging
Summary: You only see what you want to see until you're forced to see the truth. The cold, hard truth that simply lies under a coat of sugar that you want to see. But when you scratch the surface, you'll see there's much more to the story. -Rated T for future chapters.-


**A/N: Hey! This is kind of a "behind the scenes" of Doki Doki Literature Club as I like to see it. For the sake of not having to call MC just that the entire story, I have named him Sebastian. Enjoy Chapter 1!**

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**Monika **

"How many members do you currently have?" The lady behind the desk smiled at me. "I really think it's great that you're starting a Literature Club!"

"Yeah…" I gulped. "About that. There's only me. I haven't recruited anyone yet."

"You know you need at least four members to become recognized as an official club, right?" The lady furrowed her eyebrows. "So technically you can't fill out this form yet. But there's always more clubs to join!" She said cheerfully.

Who was I to recruit? Sure, I was a nice, popular, girl, but even my popularity wasn't enough to make people want to stay after school to read.

A tap on my shoulder startled me out of my thoughts. "I'll join your club! I think a Literature Club sounds like a great idea!" A peppy voice said.

It was Sayori, the school's ball of sunshine. She had no enemies, but not very many friends either.

I blinked gratitude at her. "But we still need two more members."

She waved her hand. "Ah, leave that up to me…" She paused. "On one condition." Sayori grinned.

I nodded slowly in a motion for her to continue.

"You make me vice president of the club!"

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Sure." I agreed.

"Great!" She exclaimed, skipping out of the office.

"I'll be back tomorrow then." I smiled at the lady, who nodded.

I resisted the urge to grin at the prospect of my new club until I walked out of the office. I mentally made a reminder to thank Sayori as I walked out of the building.

**Sayori**

"Stay happy, stay happy, stay happy." I murmured to myself under my breath. When I heard Monika was starting a Literature Club, I knew it was an opportunity to take time away from myself. To keep the rainclouds subdued for a little while longer.

I found my friend with long purple hair scratching her pen along the pages of her notebook in that small, smooth cursive. Yes, Yuri would be the perfect person.

"Hey!" I smiled.

Yuri looked up. "Sayori!" She blinked in a pleasant surprise.

"Where's Nat?" I asked about about our other friend.

"She's catching up. Had to visit a teacher for something." Yuri answered, carefully closing her notebook.

"Say-Say!" I heard from behind me, and a weight was thrown on my back.

I giggled as I supported Natsuki's legs. "Hey, Nat!"

"What's up?" She asked.

"Well, you guys know that girl, Monika? She's starting a Literature Club. She needs three other people and I told her I'd join." I explained.

"Sounds fun." Yuri gazed into the air.

"If you guys will, I will." Natsuki agreed.

"Great!" I smiled.

**Yuri**

I was one of the few people that knew Sayori's secret, and her and Natsuki were the only ones who knew about mine. I was happy that we could all get away from all of that for a while. I didn't know Monika well, but I was grateful the three of us could get away from all our sorrows for awhile. Soon, we'd be okay. Soon we could get help. We just had to find a way to hold out until then.

"When's the first meeting?" I asked, and Sayori suddenly looked somber.

"I-I don't know." She said, and Natsuki squeezed her.

"Hey, it's okay! Yuri was only asking a question. We still love you, stay happy!" She reassured.

Sayori nodded, slowly at first, then picked up speed. "Of course! Yeah. I'll ask Monika tomorrow."

"That's the spirit!" I smiled.

Sayori and Natsuki were one of the few people I'd smile for.

**Natsuki**

I hated seeing Say-Say depressed. I knew I couldn't do anything about it, everytime I had in the past, it would only make things worse. So, I stuck to trying to cheer her up, and reminding her that Yuri and I loved her. Seeing her want to join a club made me think she might be getting better, at least a little, and that was good enough for me.

"I wonder if Seb would want to join once we get into it." Sayori mused.

I had always been wary of Sayori's childhood friend, Sebastian. I knew he didn't know about her depression, and that he walks to school with her every morning. Other than that, I didn't know much. She didn't like to talk about him, which Yuri and I respected.

"Do you want to walk home together?" I asked Sayori, once Yuri had bid us goodbye.

Her eyes turned scared, and I worried, but continued on.

"Why? I hope you're not doing that for me, your house is out of the way from mine." Say-Say said.

"Nah." I waved my hand. "I just want to be away from my dad for a while longer." I lied.

Her eyes brightened at the prospect of helping me. "Oh, okay! Let's go then!"

I carefully wove my fingers in between hers, a gesture that she didn't mind, nor did it make her sad.

"Stay happy, Say-Say." I reminded, and she did a two finger salute in understanding.

**Monika**

"Hey Monika!" Sayori skipped toward me the next day.

"Hey!" I greeted. "Did you recruit anyone?"

"Yup!" She enthusiastically. "My friends, Natsuki, and Yuri!"

I nodded. "Great! Do you want to accompany me to the office to fill out the form?" I asked.

"Of course!" She bounded in front of me, and I scrambled to catch up.

"When's the first meeting?" She asked.

"Are we all free after school tomorrow, and then continue everyday from there?" I asked.

"Sure! I'll just check with Yuri and Natsuki, I'm sure they'll be thrilled!" Sayori said.

"Great." I smiled.

**Yuri**

Natsuki and I walked into the classroom Sayori said would be used for the Literature Club.

We noticed Sayori wasn't there yet, but Monika was there setting up. I knew Sayori hated it when we'd leave someplace to find her, but I wanted to.

I set my hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "I'll be back in a minute. I need to find Sayori."

She gave me a warning glance, but nodded as I left.

I found Sayori bounding up the stairs, and it warmed my heart to see her so happy when she was by herself.

"Hey Yuri! Ready for the first meeting?" She asked, and she didn't ask why I was by myself like she usually did when I tried to look for her.

It made me so happy.

"Yup! I'm excited to see what Monika planned for us." I answered.

"Me too!" She smiled. "Want to walk to the meeting together?"

"Of course." I said, and we happily walked back down the hall.

"Hey Say-Say! How are you feeling?" Natsuki asked.

"Oh I'm great!" Sayori smiled.

Natsuki met my eyes for confirmation, and I gave a small nod.

"That's great Say." She exclaimed.

"So...hey guys!" Monika scratched the back of her head nervously as the three of us turned toward her attentively. "Maybe we should...do icebreakers or something for the first meeting?"

Sayori nodded with enthusiasm. "Oh, perfect!" She exclaimed and I noticed Monika relax. "I'll go first. My name is Sayori, and..." I noticed a clouded emotion overtake her eyes.

It wasn't like her usual sadness, more of confusion. "What do I say now?"

"Just say something you're good at." Monika nodded in encouragement.

"Oh!" She smiled. "I'm good at mediating conflict!"

Natsuki and I nodded, and Monika smiled. "Perfect." She said.

"I'm Monika, and I'm a good leader. I like to think I'm able to drive people to achieve their goals." Monika said.

"I'm Natsuki, and I'm good at baking."

"I'm Yuri, and I'm good at writing." I nodded.

"Perfect! We could use those in future meetings!" Monika smiled in approval. "Now, how about we do some reading?"

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**A/N: This chapter was actually written a few months ago on a google doc and I edited it a bit, but I think this'll be the weakest chapter. I'll try to make the perspectives a bit longer and more detailed in the future. Stay tuned for more DDLC coming your way!**


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